Have you ever been the unsuspecting target of a bombadeering bird? This has happened to me three times in my life.When I was in the seventh grade I was nailed by a bird on the way to school and the very next day, in the very same spot, this time on the way home, he got me again. Fast forward to 1990 and a feathered kamikaze got me while I stood in my backyard, ruining my new Batman T-shirt. The little bastard.
Some people view these type of incidents as mere happenstance, however, I view them as intentional acts of terrorism. These guys new what they were doing. What do you think they are chirping about all the time? They are setting up their next hit. Let's face it, birds hate humans. They can't kill us, but they can ruin our day.
If for one day I could be a bird, there are a few people I would like to crap on. These are people that I think have done me wrong at certain times in my life. Let's see, there is Lou the Evangelist, Concrete Ed, and Neil the Bully. These are just three out of many I'd like to do the doody deed on. I'd like to give them each a berry buster sundae right in their face from 30 feet above.
On who would you like to poo? Think about it...you know there is someone out there you'd like to slime. Some little booger that you can't kill but you sure would like to have the satisfaction of ruining their day.
