Back from his recent trip to the moon, North Korean Dictator, Kim Jong il visited Planet Kirby and answered some hard-hitting questions.
The following is a transcript from Bill's interview with the dictator...
Bill: Welcome to Planet Kirby
KJi: Thank you and I'm welcome.
Bill: Isn't it ironic that your last name is il and you are rumored to be ill?
KJi: I am il.
Bill: So you are ill?
KJi: Yes
Bill: I understand that your birthday is February 16th. My birthday is also February 16th. What do you think of that?
KJi: Cool
Bill: Good thing you weren't born under the zodiac sign of Cancer, oh but wait a minute, you do have pancreatic cancer, don't you?
KJi: Yes, I died in 2003.
Bill: Excuse me?
KJi: No.
Bill: Do you think it is funny that some people call you a dictator? I mean, having the words "Dick" and "Tater" in your title is pretty funny. It is rumored that you are hung like a tater-tot, is that true?
KJi: Dic-tator, tater tot dick?
Bill: Never mind....Let's get back to your cancer. Now, you have pancreatic cancer and so does Patrick Swayze. I think it is funny that Patrick Swayze was in "Dirty Dancing" and your nickname in college was "Dirty Sanchez". Pretty funny, huh?
KJi: (Laughing) That's me...Dirty Sanchez.
Bill: Is it true that you raise money by selling fake Viagra pills?
KJi: Maybe
Bill: Are you saying that you are having trouble getting your missle to launch?
KJi: Only after a night of drinking.
Bill: I hear you have a condom named after you. The Kim Jong il condom?
KJi: Yes, it's for dicks who don't know when to pull out.
Bill: One final question. Do you and Nicole Ritchie buy your sunglasses from the same store?
KJi: What?
Bill: Thank you Mr. Dictator for taking the time to meet with me.
KJi: I'm welcome very much.
