When I was growing up in our small Western Maryland town, we didn't really have a lot of variety when it came to fast food restaurants. When it came to burgers and fries, there was a Burger Chef in LaVale and Mr. Ed's in White Oaks. That was about it until the mid 1970's when McDonald's decided to bring Happy Meals and Heart Attacks in a sack to our community.
Those were the days...I remember going on a date and taking my girl to Mr. Ed's for some food. At the time hamburgers were 19 cents and cheeseburgers were 29 cents. Fries were 30 cents and cokes were a quarter. The food wasn't great but the price was right. I remember at the time that the hamburgers resembled cardboard in texture and taste. Like I said, "Those were the days..."
My family's love affair with fast food continues to this day. Last night we stopped at our local McDonald's after my sons high school basketball game to get him his usual post-game snack. Of course, the Mrs. and I had to order our favorite meal as well. And that, my friends, is where the nostalgic romance of this story ends.
Ladies and Gentlemen, the story you are able to read is true; Only the names have been changed to protect the innocent: I entered the McDonald's at approximately 9:45 p.m., there were no other customers; just myself, the manager behind the counter and 2 other McDonald's employees. I engaged in small talk with the manager and ordered our meals. The manager seemed nervous as she took my order. Perhaps I mistook her lack of teeth and language skills as nervousness, I'm not sure. The transaction complete, I now waited for my food.
She gave me two empty medium-sized cups to fill up with liquid caffeine and I made my way over to the soda dispenser. It was at this time I heard her say "Oops" and then chuckle. What could that have meant? Did she drop my cheeseburger on the floor and knowing I was out of sight, pick it up and put it in the bag? Did she eat one of my fries and it got stuck in the toothless hole between her teeth? My mind began to race.
I returned to the counter with drinks in hand and my order waiting. I looked at her and she nodded at me with a guttural grunt that I think meant "Have a nice day!" I opened the bag and discovered that I was missing an order of fries. After a 45 second discussion on the fact that I really did order the fries because I was charged for them and they come with the meal, she reluctantly shuffled over to the fry bin and scooped a half container full of fries that had been under the "fry light" since LBJ was President.
I lifted the bag to find that one of the workers rubber gloves was semi-attached to the bottom of the bag which made me begin to barf in my mouth. I quickly grabbed my wares and exited in the McDonald's in a pace only matched by John Wilkes Booth as he dashed from Ford's Theatre.
It was not until I made it home and discovered that the final victory was mine! I paid with a twenty dollar bill and got 2 tens, a five and 46 cents in change! Take that Bitches!
Be Well.
Bill
