While driving home from work I noticed that my hands were gripping the steering wheel a little tighter than usual. Then there was this grinding noise...it sounded familiar...why yes, it was my teeth grinding against each other as I clinched my jaw while contemplating how fun it would have been to have lived during the time of Attila The Hun so that I could go on conquests destroying all of my enemies.There was no reason for any of this. My day was rather uneventful. I was now on my way home which should have only enhanced my jubilation and glee. But something just wasn't quite right. I certainly did not want to go home with this attitude so I pulled over into a restaurant parking lot and gave myself a time-out.
Unclenching the steering wheel, I pulled to the far side of the lot and put the car in park. The sign on the front of the restaurant said, "World's Best Coffee". Huh, how about that? The World's Best Coffee is brewed and served in Stewartstown, Pennsylvania. I think I knew that but to be honest, I never really gave a crap before.
I sat there watching the cars go by just trying to think about what could be eating at me. It was at this time that I saw an elderly woman struggle to get out of the passenger side of a car while, what looked to be her obese, cigarette puffing son turned his back on her and proceeded to walk toward the restaurant while she continued her struggle. Under my breath I mouthed the word, 'Asshole', and it was at this precise moment that the overweight obelisk twisted his ankle and fell to the ground. I immediately busted into laughter at the sight of this amalgamated ignoramus getting what he deserved. And then it dawned on me...I had not had a laugh break today.
I had broken one of seven sacred Kirby mantra's. Thou shalt laugh everyday. As my laughter continued, the sky immediately became blue. The bird's began to sing. My hands were free. My teeth unclenched and I began to sing 'Afternoon Delight' by the Starland Vocal Band.
I am guessing that Mr. Magoo and his mom made it into the restaurant. I really didn't pay attention after I started singing. My time-out over, I drove the remaining 1.2 miles to my home where I was greeted by kisses from my 2 best girls in the whole world...Donna and Lucy. I try to kiss Donna first because Lucy has a tendency to lick my whole face when I come home.
So, there you have it. I believe in Karma and I think fatso got what he deserved and I was thankful to be sitting there to see it.
Be Well.
Bill
