I love the simple pleasures of life. Some of those pleasures include taking a nap on my hammock on a warm summer day, or floating around my pool on my super-cool floatation device or going to the local snowball stand and getting a tasty flavored snowball with some vanilla ice cream hidden away in the bottom of the cup. Last night, after dinner, I decided that a snowball was in my immediate future. As I arrived at the snowball stand I was relieved to find that there was only a 'mom' and her son in front of me. And then it happened...the woman behind the counter realized that she knew the mom in front me and for the next 10 minutes they decided to talk about how they knew each other and whatever happened to old whathisname. I checked my outfit to make sure that I hadn't wore my 'Camo' to the snowball stand...I had not. I checked to make sure I had not inadvertently put on my 'Cloak of Invisibility' before I left the house...I had not.
Even after the mom and her son, Oedipus, had gotten their snowballs and paid for them the conversation continued. I moved closer to the counter and nothing. It was as if I wasn't there. I thought to myself...this lady needs a lesson on customer service and then I prayed that God would teach her a lesson since I was sure God wasn't trying to teach me anything at this point.
Finally, after what seemed like 3 millenniums, I ordered my "Dreamsicle" flavored snowball with vanilla ice cream in the bottom and, as the woman went to pour the flavor on my icee treat, I noticed that her "fly" was open. I would have had to have been Ray Charles to miss that the fact that there was a rainbow of colors hailing from beneath the surface of her Levi's. I thought to myself..."Don't Look, don't look..." but just like road kill, I couldn't look away. I closed my eyes and thanked God for answering my prayer so quickly. How embarrassed she'll be when she realizes that her barn door was left open. That's what she gets for making me wait.
I thought about telling her but what would I say? "Excuse me, but is that your Chia Pet or are you just happy to see me?" Good one, but probably not. How about, "So, are you letting the cat out of the bag?" She probably wouldn't get the joke. I thought about telling her that I noticed that there was a security breach at Los Pantalones, but I didn't. I just paid for my snowball and left.
As soon as my retina heals I think I'll try the 'Dill Pickle' flavor but I'm not sure...
Be Well.
Bill
