I have no problem admitting that, from time to time, I can be a Diva. I am well aware of the definition of a Diva, however, I think my friends at the Urban Dictionary have it right when they say that a Diva is "a bitchy woman that must have her way exactly, or no way at all." I just amaze myself at the places I go in my head sometimes. Today was no different.I decided to take a break and go get some lunch at one of the local eateries. When I entered the small cafe it was pretty crowded. Actually, there were no tables available. Surveying the clientele, I surmised in my Planet Kirby brain that most of the old women sitting around flapping their jowls would be done and on their way by the time my order was ready. All I wanted to do was sit quietly, maybe do a little people watching, eat my lunch and relax.
When my lunch arrived nobody had moved. Nobody looked like they were ever going to move. I could feel my Diva blood pressure starting to rise. They all sat there and just looked at me, standing there holding my lunch tray, as if I had somehow entered the Twilight Zone. At this point, I wish I had some special Jesus powers because I would have turned all those stinky old women into water and then gone for a swim. How dare they not leave. I've worked hard today. I deserve a nice lunch. Do they not know that I'll write about them?
And then it hit me...I've been out Diva-ed. These bitches were having it their way or no way at all. They had no where to go. They had control of the seating and if I didn't like it; I could leave. So I sat outside at a table and ate...brooding the whole time because I got schooled by a bunch of old, smelly women. Picking up what was left of my pride, I entered the cafe to deposit my trash and get a refill on my soda. As I was leaving, one of the Diva's said to me, "We're leaving...would you like to sit here?" Despite having salt dumped into my freshly opened wound, I said, "No thanks...I'm not worthy..." and I left.
You know, I'm glad I didn't have any special Jesus powers today because I would have missed out on a very important life lesson. Ah, that's bullshit...I'll take special Jesus powers over being schooled by a Diva any day.
Be Well.
