Out Of Control Children

I have noticed that a great deal of the content from my writings come from observations made while I'm eating; or at least trying to eat.  I have always thought that there was some correlation between my emotions and food.  That makes sense to me because I have often found solace in food after an emotional high or low in my life.  Which explains why I've lost 300 pounds in the last 10 years and gained 320....where was Dr. Kevorkian when I needed him?  Only kidding...don't send any hate mail to me.

So, yesterday I am sitting at one of the local sandwich shops trying to eat some lunch.  As I entered the restaurant, I noticed that there were two mutant children running around uncontrollably throughout the restaurant.  Actually, I was greeted by one of the one-eyed beasts as I attempted to open the door to enter the restaurant.  He thought it would be cute to take his four-fingered, webbed hands and hold the door from inside the restaurant, making it difficult to open the door from the outside.  When my mild-mannered coaxing of him to let go of the door didn't work, I jerked the door open nearly flinging his mutated self into the parking lot.

Throughout my lunch, the other lunch eaters and I were treated to these pointy-headed monsters screaming and running between the tables.  I should point out that these spoon fed Sasquatches were not special needs children nor were there any other mental handicaps that would explain there behavior.  The explanation for their behavior was quite simple.  Their pimply-faced mother didn't give a crap.  While they terrorized the lunch crowd she fiddled.  She fiddled with her phone, she fiddled with her i-pod, she fiddled with her pocketbook.  The only time she looked up to monitor her demon seeds was when one of them flung a gum ball across the restaurant like he was Frank Robinson throwing out a runner at home from left field.

One-by-one over the next ten minutes the lunch eaters ate quickly and left.  Finally, it was just me, the mother, and the Children of the Corn.  I sat there just staring at the non-humanoids...I then got up and walked over to the mother and told her that she was a failure.  I told her that I give her an "F" for her parenting skills.  I then turned to Damion and Emily Rose and drove wooden stakes through their hearts.  Actually, I never said anything to the mother and I only wished I drove stakes into their hearts.  But I wanted to, boy did I want to, however, as usual I said nothing, threw away my trash and left.

If nothing else, this latest chapter in my lunchtime adventures made me realize just how fortunate I am.  I have a great wife who is not a fiddler; who has taken the time over the years to teach our children right from wrong and how to act when they are in public.  For her I am truly thankful.  I have four absolutely wonderful children who are all potential Nobel Peace Prize Winners and People's Choice Award Recipients.  Not a demon in the litter.  So, here's to you God...thanks for reminding me how blessed I really am.

Be Well.

Bill