Over the years I have asked God, more than once, to stop the world so that I could get off at the next exit. Ask as I would, that was one prayer that He did not answer. Actually, He did answer. His answer was "NO."
As many of you know, I have been dealing with the issue of forgiveness. And I have been having trouble with it. Much in the same way that I had trouble choking down the liver and onions that my mom used to serve for dinner. The taste of the liver was so bad that after I would sneak a piece of it to the dog, the dog would taste it and then go lick his butt to get the taste of the liver out of his mouth. The point being that this topic of forgiveness has not been an easy one for me.
So here's what I've learned... sometimes when you forgive someone you might need to do it again tomorrow. And the next day... And the next day... Sometimes the wounds are so deep that it just takes time. I've also learned that to withhold forgiveness is to choose to continue to remain the victim. Forgiveness is not for the other persons sake, it is for my well being. I needed to let go.
There is something else that I've learned. Forgiveness is not possible until compassion is born or re-born into your heart. I've found that compassion is one of the key ingredients in forgiveness. I found that before I could have compassion and forgiveness for others; I needed to have compassion and forgiveness for myself. A virtual "Give Yourself A Break" if you will.
So, just like life, forgiveness is a journey. Sometimes people say and do hurtful things. What is important to remember is how to deal with it when it happens. There is no future in the past. But perhaps my greatest take away from this experience is that "it's really hard to live in the present when you're holding on to the past." Thanks for your prayers...
Be Well.
Bill
