My Next Journey

"I thank you in advance for the great round of applause I am about to get."  ~  Bo Diddley


As you may already know, this blog is about my thoughts and feelings.  You know, all of that stuff that rolls around in my head each day.  I have found it to be great therapy for me to transfer all of those thoughts and feelings, that get bottled up inside me, onto this blog for the whole world to read. 

So, Mr. Kirby, what is today's topic?  Well, boys and girls, today's topic is about how I lose weight only to gain it back again... and again...  and again.  I hate it, hate it, hate it.  I mean, I can lose 75 pounds and gain back 85 within a year and that's what's happened over the last year.  It's so bad that I keep a range of different sized pants and shirts in my closet.  Did I mention how much I hate this?

Now, my lovely wife will say, "Honey, (that's what she calls me and I like it) you're being silly, you're not fat."  Oh really?  Let's look at the facts...

I am so fat that:
When I go to the movies, I sit next to everyone.
If this were the 1400's and I was floating in the Atlantic Ocean, Columbus would declare me the New World.
Donna has to iron my pants in the driveway.
When I went to the beach, Greenpeace tried to push me back into the water.

I guess that settles it.  The fats facts don't lie.  I am fat.  Did I mention that I hate it?  I know that I need to eat better.  I know I need to get regular exercise.  I know, I know, I know.  I just can't seem to get motivated.  I'm really not sure why.  Somebody told me recently, not to worry about it, that I'm probably just "big boned."  I wish I had a was big boned.  That's a silly thing to say to someone.  Somebody also told me I should chew sugar free gum.  Do you think I got this big chewing gum with sugar on it?

No, I love bacon and Frito's and regular coke.  But they are the devil.  So what am I to do?  Well, life's a journey and I guess I need to embark on my next phase of the journey.  So tonight, I think I'll have my Last Supper before I set sail on a new weight loss adventure.  A supper that includes Skittles wrapped in bacon, and Strawberry Licorice Florentine with a side of double stuffed fudge cookies and big glass of milk.  Tomorrow we take the first step to a new me, that is, if I don't have a heart attack during the Last Supper.

Be Well.

Bill