Recently, I told someone that I've been hanging out on the "dark side of the moon." What I meant was that I had retreated to a place that was unseen by everyone but me. It's not a physical place but a mental one. Sometimes when I get overwhelmed and feel the stress mounting in my life, I retreat to a place that allows me to get away and regroup. It's the place where I go to get away from the monsters that used to plague my life.
Actually, the monsters haven't gone away, I just know how to deal with them now. I make no secret about the fact that life can be stressful and sometimes it seems to take me to the breaking point. I don't always understand why certain things happen in life and why life can be so difficult at times. It's just life and sometimes life can be overwhelming.
I believe I've always been a dreamer. When I look back on my life, I have actually done pretty well for a man who "was born a poor black child." Those of you who know me will understand that reference. In all seriousness, I've done pretty well in life, despite my inner retard. But sometimes the struggles in life have been so intense that I've taken my eye off of my dreams. Those were the times that I retreated to a place that was so dark that I believe there are no words in the English language to describe its darkness.
But despite myself and my struggles, here I am. Sometimes I just refuse to let life and all of its circumstances get me down. Sometimes I just stand there and give life the finger. I may not always understand the "why's" in life but I understand that giving up is no longer an option.
Be Well.
Bill
