It's really fun to enjoy life and lately I've been enjoying the hell out of it. Now on the other side of darkness, my prism for life is filled with more vibrant colors than ever. In the past, I used to use humor as a way of masking my internal pain, however, now I see humor in just about everything around me. While I am having a blast, my family sometimes just roll their eyes and shake their heads in wonder as I go rolling merrily along through life.
During our courtship and subsequent life-long marriage, I am willing to bet that I've been asked "What are you thinking about?" by my lovely wife no less than 5 billion times. My response has been the same as those given by every other man who has been asked this question by their lady. "Nothing."
Now we all know that "Nothing" is a bullshit answer because it's pretty much impossible to be thinking about "nothing." So, just what are we thinking about when we get all quiet? In order to be accurate, I hit the "rewind button" in my mind today and went back and replayed the 5 billion times I was asked that question. To be honest, when it was all said and done, there were only about 100 things that I was thinking about out of the 5 billion times that Donna popped the question on me. For the sake of time I thought I'd share a few of the top things that I was thinking about.
Oh, who am I fooling? Every warm-blooded, American, male that gets asked that question by his wife or significant bother is thinking about sex. He is either thinking about how to get it or he is replaying the last romantic interlude over and over again in his mind. We think about it when we wake up in the morning and we think about it all day and then we dream about it at night. It starts at adolescence (in my case, it started at age 9) and continues throughout our adult lives. We can't help it. That's how we're wired.
Now the sad part of the story is that I've noticed lately that waking up "stiff" in the morning has more to do with my knees and back than anything else. But that doesn't change what I'm thinking about. Recently I heard an interview with Dan Rather and the host asked him what was the secret to his long marriage. Without blinking he replied, "A squeaky bed." Good for you, Dan. If the host would have asked him the question, "What are you thinking about?", his response would have been the same. He's a guy, he can't help it.
Any man who says that he doesn't think about sex most of his waking moments is either a liar or needs to be checked for a pulse. Just remember, life is too serious to be taken seriously. These days I try to fun with everything that I do in life. And that includes what I think about. My first grade teacher, Miss Davis, must have been a prophet because she once told me that I had a vivid imagination. Boy, if she only knew...
Be well.
Bill
