I am always looking for a way to make life interesting and if I happen to make it fun at the same time then that is just an added benefit. So tonight after our dinner of steamed crabs at one of our favorite local restaurants, our nice little waitress brought me the check and I added a nice tip to the total and signed my name for the night... CAPTAIN UNDERPANTS. That's right, I signed it Captain Underpants. Just like putting items in other people's carts at Walmart, my identity assuming sport has brought me much joy over the years.
It all started a few year's ago when I was checking out at our local grocery store. I was signing my name on one of those electronic signature pads and the pad was so distorted that my signature was unrecognizable. Without even looking, the cashier said "thank you" and gave me my receipt. It was then that I thought that I could have signed any name and they wouldn't care. So, later that same week, there I was, back at the same grocery store, at the same register. I was signing my name on the signature pad and the name I wrote was "Any Name". Again, she said "thank you" and gave me my receipt.
Over the years, as I have used my credit cards, I have assumed many identities. On our vacation this year, I thought I'd test the cashier at the grocery store in Myrtle Beach. When I signed the electronic signature pad I wrote, "David Letterman". As I reached for my receipt the cashier said, "May I see your credit card?" Thinking my ruse was finally over, I handed her my card and she compared the signature to that on my card, and giving me a quick smile said, "Thank you Mr. Letterman." Finally, a cashier with a sense of humor.
The rest of the week, that we were on vacation, I was Paul McCartney, George Harrison, John Lennon, Ringo Starr, Cal Ripken, and I'm pretty sure that one night I was Clint Eastwood. It's unbelievable. In a two year period, one person checked my signature and nobody else cared to even check. So much for credit card security. One time I didn't even sign a name; I drew a picture of a smiley face.
I'll be honest, sometimes I want to be Bill Kirby, but most often I assume a different identity. So tonight, I'm Captain Underpants. I can't wait to put some of my superhero moves on Mrs. Planet Kirby later tonight.
Be Well.
Bill
