One of the symptoms of depression is worry. A depressive worries about everything. During my years with the disease, I was the best at making mountains out of mole hills. No one was better. Not only did I worry about everything but I couldn't bring myself to tell anyone. For some reason, I was unable to voice the worry that went on in my head. So I suffered in silence as do most people with the disease.
Now on the other side, I've learned to take one day at a time. I've also become pretty good at sharing my feelings. Sometimes to my family's chagrin. They say that sometimes I share too much. Go figure.
During those years with the disease, I also felt like I didn't have any friends. I went through each day feeling like nobody cared whether I lived or died. It was a horrible way to live each day but at the time I was powerless to change it.
Recently I've noticed that there are a lot of people on my favorite social network site who are reaching out for help. Their posts sometimes say volumes. Actually, as someone who has had depression it is pretty easy to spot someone who is in the ugly grasp of the disease. The sad part is that these people can have tons of friends and still feel like nobody cares.
Sometimes some very well meaning people would tell me that they knew how I felt when I was battling depression. I would sarcastically tell them, "Oh I see...so why don't you go kill yourself?" There was this one Christian who felt like it was his mission to quote scripture to me all the time. He'd say things like "Cast all your care upon Him for He careth for you..." I know he meant well but it didn't help. People with depression don't need scriptures dropped on them; they need friends who are willing to just be there sometimes. They need friends who can say that even though they don't understand what they are going through they are there for them.
I found a lot of those friends when I started writing this blog back in 2009. I discovered that writing was my therapy. I found that I could write some of the feelings that I couldn't verbalize. There was nobody quoting scripture to me; just people reading what I wrote and offering words of encouragement. My therapy continues to this day. I don't think I'll ever stop writing because I'm not sure that anyone is ever truly cured from depression. I just understand the warning signs a little bit better these days.
Be a friend to someone today. You never know whose life you might just be saving.
Be Well.
Bill
