There is perhaps nothing more disgusting to me than someone who refuses to cover their mouth when they cough. Call me a germophobe if you like, however, I really do not enjoy mucus and bacteria flying toward me at the speed of spit while I try to go about minding my own business. I mean, really, how hard is it to cover your pie hole when you cough?
Last Friday I learned that elderly China men do not cover their mouths when they cough. As I sat in my local Chinese Restaurant enjoying my Flying Volcano Roll of Sushi, the elder China man repeatedly coughed, hurling his bok choy my way. Maybe if he only did it once then I could have forgiven him. The second time he did it, he looked right at me and cleared his chicken chow mein throat right in my direction. It then seemed like every time he took a bite of his Miso Ignorant Soup he barked bacteria my way.
It was disgusting and none of the other China people in the restaurant seemed to care. As the Bad Mouth Bombarding continued, I have to admit, that I just wanted to set myself on fire like a Buddhist Monk protesting China's treatment of Tibet in order to escape my sure death from the airborne fragments that were raining down on my table. The only problem with setting myself on fire would be that the smell of my burning flesh would resemble bacon frying in skillet from all of my years of Bacon Nirvana.
Reaching into my Man Purse, I looked for my miniature bottle of Purell Hand Sanitizer but, as usual, I can't find anything when I look in there. At this point, there was nothing left for me to do but to make like a hockey player and get the "puck" out of there. Dodging the Rice Fragments I laid my money on the table and made my exit. As the door closed behind me, one last fish egg fragment nailed the glass and fell to the floor.
As I got into my car, I opened the secret compartment in my console and retrieved my life-saving elixir of Purell and poured it all over my hands and face to counteract my exposure to the biological warfare that I had just encountered. Another Planet Kirby crisis averted.
Be Well.
Bill
