I have often wished that someone who had known me since I was born would have sat me down and said, "Billy, I have something to tell you...something that will change your outlook on life and perhaps explain a few things..." And then I wish they would have continued with, "when you were born the doctor dropped you on your head and the part of your brain that controls and is responsible for common sense spilled out onto the floor. The nurses tried to clean it up and put it back into your brain but it was too late."
That would explain a great deal about my life. So, if you are out there and you're reading this blog, please contact me. I often think that my mom knew this but just never had the heart to tell me. Instead, she just loved me the best that she could and hoped that people would have pity on me along the way. This would also explain why, as a small child, adults would pat me on the head and tell me everything would be all right.
My whole left-brain/right-brain derision is further complicated by the fact that Mrs. Planet Kirby routinely tells me that I have no common sense. Did my mom tell her and, if she did, why hasn't she told me about the whole "being dropped on my head" thing? I mean, how else would she know that I don't have any common sense?
The dictionary defines common sense as, "sound practical judgment that is independent of specialized knowledge, training, or the like; normal native intelligence." Huh? So, I decided to look up "common sense" in the Urban Dictionary and this is what I found: "Something so rare it is a super power." Hmmm. Now I think I'm getting somewhere.
This might explain why tasks that require common sense escape me. I don't have that super power. Now, as a Super Hero, I do have a few super powers. I have an uncanny ability to bust someones balls without even touching them. I also have the ability to climb walls when certain people visit the Kirbarosa. Well, maybe that one has more to do with certain people making me climb the walls when they visit. I have the ability to make a whole pizza disappear. I think you get the idea; I'm pretty talented when it comes to super powers...
But this whole common sense thing bothers me. I struggle with it. I'm not good at it. It doesn't come easily and, most of the time, it doesn't come to my rescue; ever. So I'm wondering, is it a skill or power that I can develop? Will mine ever grow back? Surely, all of the stupid mistakes in judgment I've made, over the years, can't just be blamed on me having no common sense can it? Can it? Of course it can.
As I'm writing this, I've noticed that the coffee I'm drinking is really hot and I think it burned the inside of my mouth. Wait a minute... I think my common sense is tingling...
Be Well.
Bill
