I think I have a lot of acquaintances in my life but very few friends. Now, my favorite online social network will tell you that I have 211 friends but that's not true. I'm not sure why I feel this way but I do. Maybe it is because I am "old school" when it comes to defining what being a friend means to me.
The dictionary will tell you that a friend is someone who you are "attached to by personal affection or personal regard." Honestly, I have no idea what that means. Bill Kirby will tell you that a friend is someone who is aware of how retarded you are and will still be seen with you in public. A friend is someone who will chip in when you don't have a enough money for a Happy Meal at McDonald's. A friend is someone who will make you laugh so hard that you will pee your pants. Merriam Webster has nothing on Bill Kirby.
I'm not searching for friends; I just don't think I have very many. Now, every time I have this discussion with myself, something in the back of my head tells me that I'm just being stupid. Oh wait, that's Mrs. Planet Kirby, standing behind me, telling me that. She's probably right. I probably do have a lot more friends than I realize.
Maybe Pee Wee Herman said it best when he told Dottie, "You don't want to get mixed up with a guy like me. I'm a loner. A rebel." I am a loner. Actually, the truth is that I don't like myself most of the time, so I find it hard to believe that anyone would actually want to be my friend.
Perhaps I should just close with this quote from Groucho Marx, "Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend. Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read."
Be Well.
Bill
