In my writing room at The Kirbarosa I am surrounded by mementos of a life well lived. I've really been trying lately to focus on the positive aspects of my life because life is sometimes too serious to be taken seriously. So why not enjoy myself?
But for me, being able to enjoy myself means that I have to like the person that I am. For whatever reason, over the years I've been too hard on myself and so lately I've just been focusing on having some fun (again). For most of my adult life I've struggled with my weight which has been a huge factor in my life of discontent. Mirrors have been my gateway to self-hatred. And it's not just my weight, it's a bunch of stuff that I allow to run through my head about why I'm less than loveable and why I look too hideous for children and the elderly to look upon. Yes, my first grade teacher, Miss Mary Davis, was right; I have a vivid imagination and sometimes it only works to bring about no good.
We only have one shot at this life and there aren't any do-overs. There are no mulligans or get out of jail free cards. There is just life and it is meant to be lived. So often when I've looked at the past I've only seen the negative pictures of my life. Those images that brought me sadness and regret. I'm not sure why that is. Maybe it's a chemical imbalance or maybe I was dropped on my head in the delivery room but that's the way I've been wired for most of life.
So that's why I'm surrounding myself with memories of my life that are positive. They serve as a reminder that the positives in my life outnumber all of the perceived negatives. They remind me of happy times. They give me hope that the best is yet to come.
On my desk I have this picture of me and all four of the Kirby Kids that was taken maybe fifteen years ago. We're all smiling and if my memory serves me right immediately after Donna snapped the picture, our living room turned into WrestleMania and it was me versus the Siblings. And I'm sure it ended as it always did with me getting smacked in the crotch, rolling on the floor, gasping for air, while the Siblings high-fived one another. Good times.
Be Well.
Bill
