There's an Irish proverb that says, "A man loves his sweetheart the most, his wife the best, but his mother the longest." In my case, my wife is my sweetheart so I love her the most and the best, but it's my mom and my memories of her that have been cavorting through my mind the last few days.
It all started earlier this week when I noticed, on my favorite social media site, that one of my pals lost her mother. My friends emotional update smacked me at my inner core as I remembered the emotions that flooded from my soul on the day that my mom left this world behind. While I wanted to say that I understood the pain and hurt of losing her mother, I knew in my heart that those words would be foolish since we all grieve and experience pain in our souls differently.
Just like when someone takes my picture and I don't know what to do with my hands, I am sometimes at a loss with what to say when it comes to grief. I only knew her mother from photo's and status updates, however, I knew from experiencing the loss of my mother that kind, sincere words from friends have a healing effect on the soul. And so, I simply wrote, "I am sorry to learn of your mom's passing. I have always thought that you have her eyes and beautiful smile. Her spirit and beauty will continue to live on in you." And then being the softy that I am I cried.
I don't know why the tear ducts began to work overtime. Maybe it was because I was grieving for her loss or maybe, just maybe, I was reminded of just how much my mom meant to me and how much I missed her. Maybe it was because I know that I am who I am today because of the love and guidance she gave me as I grew from a boy into a man. Maybe it is because I see so much of her in my children and grandchildren. Maybe it was because I knew that as long as I keep my mom's memory alive she is never truly gone. When she was alive I loved her everyday and now that she is gone I miss her everyday. Or maybe, it's because I'm just a big, soft teddy bear of emotions. Yeah, that's probably it.
I have this sign that hangs in my Writing Room that simply says, "Enjoy the simple things in life, for one day you will look back and realize they were the big things." It's those simple times spent with my mom that I miss the most. Now that she's gone, I realize that those simple times were the biggest and best times that I had growing up.
If your mom is still alive give her a call or go see her and tell her how much you love her. You’re going to miss her one day. Trust me, I know.
Be Well.
Bill
