My father left this world behind back in 1990. So now, for almost thirty years, I've tried to live vicariously through the memories and words of the brief time that I spent with him. And while the years and memories have begun to fade, I find myself earnestly searching the distant and dark crevices of my mind in the hope of unearthing a memory, a word, some treasure left behind; long forgotten but much needed.
My dad was the king of witty remarks and while the words might not be exact, I find myself echoing his words to my children, who, now grown, need to know and remember. He would usually dispense his epigrammatic wit when it was just the two us. His words were meant to be remembered and they were perfectly timed to teach me a lesson that only a father's words could yield.
Perhaps his greatest lesson to me was not to let life pass me by. It was a great lesson. I only wish that I would have heeded his advice sooner. I don't know, I feel like maybe I haven't made the most of out of my time while on my journey through life. I think that if everyone would be honest, we all probably feel that way at one time or another because life can be a struggle.
My father came from a modest and humble upbringing. He would often joke that the Kirby's were the fulfillment of Matthew 26:11 when Jesus remarked that there will be poor always... And while I know he was joking, I believe that he often felt a little as if that would be a big part of his journey in this world. A journey based on humility.
And so, as I reflected on the memories of the man who was my sage, I discovered that much of the wisdom that accompanied his words were centered around the lessons learned from his shortened journey. While I might not know or remember the context of his words, I have absorbed their essence and their spirit into my journey.
Growing up, our children always knew that our house was a respite from the world. The Kirbarosa was a place of love and protection. A place of encouragement. My father once told me that the people in your own house should always be on your side because the world will always tell you that you're never good enough. I never forgot that.
And while the Kirby's may or may not have been the fulfillment of Matthew 26:11, I do know that you would not find the word 'quit' in his mantra. He loved succeeding when people counted him out. During one of our father/son sessions he told me that when people tell you or think that you're not good enough - just prove them wrong - that'll shut 'em the hell up. It's funny, I've adopted some similar wisdom, however, I've learned to tell people that I've got this great idea and then I tell them to shut the hell up. I somehow think Dad would be proud.
Lately, I've been trying to spend some one on one time with each of our children. If, for no other reason, than to send a little dad wisdom their way. I often wonder what they'll remember about me and my words when I'm gone. So much of who I am and what I've become was shaped by my father. I can only hope that I've made as big of an impact on them as my dad did on me.
Be Well.
Bill
